SpaceBass: Europe 2004
Portland > Frankfurt > Nice > Cannes > Monaco > Nice > Paris > London > Amsterdam >
   Frankfurt > Portland
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Kids! Hyper little kids running around everywhere! Hundreds of screaming little french kids crawling all over every square inch of the park, spreading their little french germs. And, apparently, one fat little american tourist kid standing off to the side, all alone. And one guy in front who looked like he was trying to breakdance while having a seizure.

We couldn't figure out why none of the adults sitting or standing around watching that crowd of tiny humans caught in an enormous red spiderweb didn't seem in the least bit concerned, but rather than stick around and ask - and possibly expose our own selves to being eaten by some gargantuan arachnid - we decided it was about time to get the hell out of there.

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On our way back to the dreaded stairs, we found a little side path down to one viewpoint we hadn't spotted before. From there we could see down to the waterfront, where there was this enormous human sundial, and these tiny little ant people standing on it, trying to figure it out. It's doubtful they ever succeeded though, because ants are much stronger than they are smart.

Of course, no visit to such an historic and fundamentally disappointing location would be complete without a photo of me standing there. Sadly, I forgot to bring that day's newspaper with me in order to prove I was still alive so that I could collect that ransom. I could have used it too, at the rate I was already going through Euros on this trip.

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That little sign in the lower left translates as: "Pierre Jets [a French street gang based out of New York City] and Object Divers [people who jump off cliffs looking for cool rocks to collect by letting them embed in their skulls upon impact with the ground] Strictly *Chomp* [something has eaten part of the sign]."

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