SpaceBass: Europe 2004
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We wound our way the long way up the hill, stopping every so often to pause and curse the fancy stairs we'd left behind. Finally, we rounded a corner and faced the first, but certainly not the last, set of public staircases. We crept slowly up the first leg of about ten thousand steps.

It should be noted that we did later happen to luck upon a public conveyance that nearly put us in a blissful state of unlawful proportions: an elevator. It's really the weirdest thing riding up tens of stories in an elevator that's not encased in a man-made building, but rather drilled up through the naked side of a hill, but there it was. And it was welcome. For we were tired, natch.

Sooner than we'd expected, we arrived at Le Jardin Exotique de Monaco (loosely translated as, "The joke's on the stupid tourists who bother to climb this here huge hill."). It only cost us 13.40 "especes," which I think means "pieces" to get in.

"Pieces of what," you ask? We didn't know either at first, but soon we would find out it meant...OUR VERY SOULS!!!

But for now, we were mere innocents, happily gallivanting around an enormous garden that looked like parts of it were stolen from an unreleased sequel to Myst. Myst: the Revenge of the Stairs. Also, there were a lot of steep and narrow paths. And many cacti. Myst: Revenge of the Stairs, Steep and Narrow Paths, Cacti, and Confused, Non-English-Speaking Tourists IV!

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Some parts of the Exotic Gardens were more educational than others.

For instance, there were these recorded things that would talk at you when you pushed a button and tell you all about what it was you were supposed to be looking at. We never did figure out if they had an English option. Mainly, we just drifted around and tried not to get lost again.

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